Gentlemen - what's up with those profiles?

Oh honey, where do I start? I've been to a few dating web sites and I've set up a profile on three of them. I'm not going to use the actual names just in case there's some copyright issue. One is Biology and you have to pay to use it. Another I'll call Zspot - it's connected to a popular social network site - FB. And another is totally free to communicate and post. I'll call that one Okay. Each has it's advantages and disadvantages but they all have something in common - the profile. I admit my profile is not the best writing I've ever done but it's a pretty good picture of who I am and what I'm looking for. I understand it's hard to put those things into words. But these are DATING sites and the reason you go on a site like that is to find a DATE, right? Then what in the world are these men thinking?

Here's some some gentle assistance for you guys out there. (I almost feel like opening up a business to write your profiles for you!)

A word about pictures, gentlemen: A picture in a tank top holding a beer with your belly hanging out will get you very few dates. Trust me.

We don't want to see your dogs, your ride, your house. We want to see you - preferably clean and reasonably dressed. No chest baring shots either - unless you have a serious six-pack. And get a second opinion on the photo. Seriously.

Smile, honey. Even if you are taking a picture of yourself in your bathroom mirror - for goodness sake, put a smile on your face!

Take a NEW picture - don't use one from years ago. Be honest! We can tell that the pic of the guy in a high school football jersey isn't recent for the 43 year old we're reading about.

Don't let your picture do the talking for you. You could be George Clooney and if all you has was basic info you wouldn't get a date! Ladies like to read about you and your interests.

Ok, I'm going to repeat that last line: Ladies like to read about you and your interests.

I want to see that you and I have something in common besides our desire to find a date. We already know that! So you like sports? That's ok, write about it! If you like motorcycles, write about it! Like cars, write about those too. Just keep it real. And also include those things that aren't so "manly" that you enjoy - you know, books, movies (maybe you like an occasional drama?), playing with your kids, etc. Give us a well rounded picture of who you are. We love the fact that you are a man! Really we do! Show us some of that soft side too and we will love you more!

Almost nothing turns me off faster than a profile that is not spelled correctly. I can overlook a misspelled word here and there but an entire profile that is full of them is a turn off. Check your grammar too.

Darlin', if you are picky, tell us! It's OK to be specific - heck, we are! So if you really won't consider giving use curvy sisters a look then don't waste our time!

I'm sure I'll be adding to this list as my adventures in dating continue! Next stop, Biology, Zspot and Okay! Gentlemen, start your engines!